Everything that I've complained about, every course, every excruciating drop of blood and sweat that I've lost...
PTP,
BMT,
Guards Conversion,
Basic Driving,
LS Conversion,
Weapon Courses,
Advanced Driving,
It's all culminating into one, final hurdle, one final "boss". Endgame.
"Suit up boys, lets go" *cue dramatic music*
Nah. This doesn't need to feel dramatic and it's just 3 weeks of my life again sapped by the damned organization that's necessary for deterrence.
Let me summarize what I've been doing in NS.
1) PTP
PTP was horrible, in the sense that it was a culture shock, I was soft and fat, and.. Everything was just alien in there. Sure, NCC slathered me with knowledge about discipline and knowledge of army, but it just wasn't enough. PTP made me lose 5kg at least, and it was one of my most fittest and proudest moment of my life.
I could wear my purple+white-striped polo T with 100% confidence and joy.
2) BMT
BMT was.. hell. Field camp made me an unhygienic dog, and I was consistently tired every single day. Sure, there were the good moments where me, 2 other guys and an officer were eating noodles together at 1am, but I never, ever want to go through it again.
3) Guards
Guards was more of a mental thing than a physical one. Sure, carry heavy stuff, walk around, run, face the ground. Maybe I was just used to it by then. The highlight of the beginning in my third chapter of army was rappelling from a helicopter. I will never forget the view and apprehension, followed by pure exhilaration as I leaped out of the chopper.
What came next was more mental torture - driving course. Yes, the instructors were fuckers, but they taught me well, I begrudgingly admit.
4) LS conversion
I can't go into detail lest commandos leap into my window and take me down for releasing information. Suffice to say this course contained the hardest week in my entire life. Driving at 5am all the way till next day 2am, with 2 hours of sleep in between? I don't want to do it again, but I have to.
5) Weap courses
This was sheer delight. So much nights out.
6)Advanced Driving
Yes, I learned how to do high speed turns, reverse at full speed then spin on the spot with a vehicle, but it just wasn't worth the time I spent suffering while others spent the time in bunk sleeping and growing fatter. It was very interesting though I must admit, and it made me more confident of my driving.
7) Final exercise, Aussieland.
My schedule for 3 weeks in Aussieland, is as such.
Week 1) Orientation
Week 2) 50% torture
Week 3) 1-4 hours of sleep per day at most with constant driving in mountains, hellish terrain, and freezing weather.
Lord, let it pass quickly, that I may come back and better appreciate my life as an adult.
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
Balance is what I need.
These complaints are what I need to remove from my head.
I have been very troubled.
First, was Advanced Driving Course. I sure learnt a lot of things, but at the expense of me becoming an unthinking demon who yelled at anyone who stood in my way.
Next, lack of sleep due to volunteering.
I have been lacking sleep for a long time. Lack of sleep causes me to have a permanent bad/insane mood. Truth be told, I only have myself to blame.
My lack of sleep problems began because of my stupidity in agreeing to be volunteered to support my commanders in Tekong.
Due to that, I had irregular sleep, and then it culminated in no sleep as my commanders marched in the east coast park for their finale.
Immediately after that I had guard duty, but it's over now so I need to let it go slowly.
Let it go let it go let it go... And now I need to go to sleep!
These complaints are what I need to remove from my head.
I have been very troubled.
First, was Advanced Driving Course. I sure learnt a lot of things, but at the expense of me becoming an unthinking demon who yelled at anyone who stood in my way.
Next, lack of sleep due to volunteering.
I have been lacking sleep for a long time. Lack of sleep causes me to have a permanent bad/insane mood. Truth be told, I only have myself to blame.
My lack of sleep problems began because of my stupidity in agreeing to be volunteered to support my commanders in Tekong.
Due to that, I had irregular sleep, and then it culminated in no sleep as my commanders marched in the east coast park for their finale.
Immediately after that I had guard duty, but it's over now so I need to let it go slowly.
Let it go let it go let it go... And now I need to go to sleep!
Friday, 29 April 2011
It's been a while, and it's time I released a full bodied post containing my experience and thoughts.
This post will consist of several stories.
Explosives
I've been on a missile course. I learnt various unimportant stuff like how far the missile flies, what angle I should stay away from the back blast and... Stuff like that.
It just wasn't important to me because after all, I'm a driver. All that mattered was I overcame the course (which I did), and stay out of trouble. I succeeded in both, and I rejoiced as I thought that my ordeal for courses was over.
Little did I know that back in HQ, my name was chosen for yet another course, this time a grenade launching course. Fuck.
The Engagement Issue
It was nearing the end of the missile course that this problem came up.
My mother (dear lady that she is) intended for me to be engaged to my girlfriend in the next year.
Now, engagements (just my assumption) mainly involve the couple that is... Getting engaged. This means that the engagement's main stars are the couple themselves, and the calefare (not the best of words to use) are the people around them.
This wasn't so for my case.
My mother discussed with her sister in law; briefly informed my girlfriend; took my girlfriend's brother to a corner and discussed with him about the engagement...
But never told me a single word about this.
Yes, engagements are meant to be a happy event, where boyfriends/girlfriends become fiancées or fiancés (I have no idea what fiancée means anyway, seems like a floral term to me).
Prior to my confrontation/questioning of my parents, I had an exhausting day already, involuntarily carrying 40kg worth of missiles on my back and running 600m, while you discussed my future with other people without talking to me about it.
I finally had to ask you quite nicely: "What's going on?", before I got a vague answer of "Me and Dad were planning to get you and Sally engaged".
Really, which sane person would have leaped and punched the air in joy instead of retorting "What the fuck? You're discussing my future with other people instead of with me?". Well I didn't punch the air in joy, but I did retort back "you're discussing this without telling me anything?". I asked a few more questions that I've forgotten about, and they didn't seem too happy with my reaction.
Well, the backlash of my questioning was...
My mother decided to cancel the idea of the engagement just 3 days after, and again without telling me anything.
Really. This engagement thing was like a Final Year Project.
I had to dig so hard for information to get the whole picture and understand it, just for me to work on it, present it, then get shot down by the teachers (in this case, my mother), and then get the whole project thrown away in a short span of time.
The heartbreaking moment came for me, when I had to apologize to my mother for asking her about what they were thinking about regarding this engagement. I just don't get it. I had to apologize to them because they decided to discuss with everyone except me, AND because I didn't put up a happy show for her.
I apologized, put on a sad puppy face, and took the lecturing with silence. Yes, I put up a show at the end just to please her. It pained me physically to do so but... I did what was necessary to maintain peace and stay out of trouble.
I can only hope that the peace is maintained, and that I don't have to go through this again.
Monetary Issues
The engagement issue woke up a nagging part of me.
"Save money Ben, you really need it for your future"
But the other nagging part that frequently came up was...
"Fuck Ben, you're already putting $50 aside per month, by the end of 1 year added in with your old savings, you'll have $2000 at least in your savings account, just spend the rest of your NS allowance to relax and De-stress"
Indeed, if I scrimp and save as much as I can now, I can throw a bigger, more bad-ass party for my wedding, and still have enough for a house. I need to keep this in mind more often. I need to get my own home fill it up with furniture and love, and still have some savings to maintain it.
I need to save.
Aye.
Maturity
My final issue finally isn't a physical problem, but more of a mental problem. I feel my maturity degenerating into that of a 15 year old's. All I'm focusing on now is fun, enjoying, pushing problems away and well, doing the wrong things.
I should instead, be focusing on getting a head-start in my education so I can start earning money the moment I can escape my bond to the army.
I should be researching more on what I should study next time; on what my future job requires me to know; on which estate would be the best to purchase a house...
Instead, all I'm doing is just living each day as it comes without planning for the future.
This has to stop.
But it's just the only time in my life where I can fully enjoy :(
This post will consist of several stories.
Explosives
I've been on a missile course. I learnt various unimportant stuff like how far the missile flies, what angle I should stay away from the back blast and... Stuff like that.
It just wasn't important to me because after all, I'm a driver. All that mattered was I overcame the course (which I did), and stay out of trouble. I succeeded in both, and I rejoiced as I thought that my ordeal for courses was over.
Little did I know that back in HQ, my name was chosen for yet another course, this time a grenade launching course. Fuck.
The Engagement Issue
It was nearing the end of the missile course that this problem came up.
My mother (dear lady that she is) intended for me to be engaged to my girlfriend in the next year.
Now, engagements (just my assumption) mainly involve the couple that is... Getting engaged. This means that the engagement's main stars are the couple themselves, and the calefare (not the best of words to use) are the people around them.
This wasn't so for my case.
My mother discussed with her sister in law; briefly informed my girlfriend; took my girlfriend's brother to a corner and discussed with him about the engagement...
But never told me a single word about this.
Yes, engagements are meant to be a happy event, where boyfriends/girlfriends become fiancées or fiancés (I have no idea what fiancée means anyway, seems like a floral term to me).
Prior to my confrontation/questioning of my parents, I had an exhausting day already, involuntarily carrying 40kg worth of missiles on my back and running 600m, while you discussed my future with other people without talking to me about it.
I finally had to ask you quite nicely: "What's going on?", before I got a vague answer of "Me and Dad were planning to get you and Sally engaged".
Really, which sane person would have leaped and punched the air in joy instead of retorting "What the fuck? You're discussing my future with other people instead of with me?". Well I didn't punch the air in joy, but I did retort back "you're discussing this without telling me anything?". I asked a few more questions that I've forgotten about, and they didn't seem too happy with my reaction.
Well, the backlash of my questioning was...
My mother decided to cancel the idea of the engagement just 3 days after, and again without telling me anything.
Really. This engagement thing was like a Final Year Project.
I had to dig so hard for information to get the whole picture and understand it, just for me to work on it, present it, then get shot down by the teachers (in this case, my mother), and then get the whole project thrown away in a short span of time.
The heartbreaking moment came for me, when I had to apologize to my mother for asking her about what they were thinking about regarding this engagement. I just don't get it. I had to apologize to them because they decided to discuss with everyone except me, AND because I didn't put up a happy show for her.
I apologized, put on a sad puppy face, and took the lecturing with silence. Yes, I put up a show at the end just to please her. It pained me physically to do so but... I did what was necessary to maintain peace and stay out of trouble.
I can only hope that the peace is maintained, and that I don't have to go through this again.
Monetary Issues
The engagement issue woke up a nagging part of me.
"Save money Ben, you really need it for your future"
But the other nagging part that frequently came up was...
"Fuck Ben, you're already putting $50 aside per month, by the end of 1 year added in with your old savings, you'll have $2000 at least in your savings account, just spend the rest of your NS allowance to relax and De-stress"
Indeed, if I scrimp and save as much as I can now, I can throw a bigger, more bad-ass party for my wedding, and still have enough for a house. I need to keep this in mind more often. I need to get my own home fill it up with furniture and love, and still have some savings to maintain it.
I need to save.
Aye.
Maturity
My final issue finally isn't a physical problem, but more of a mental problem. I feel my maturity degenerating into that of a 15 year old's. All I'm focusing on now is fun, enjoying, pushing problems away and well, doing the wrong things.
I should instead, be focusing on getting a head-start in my education so I can start earning money the moment I can escape my bond to the army.
I should be researching more on what I should study next time; on what my future job requires me to know; on which estate would be the best to purchase a house...
Instead, all I'm doing is just living each day as it comes without planning for the future.
This has to stop.
But it's just the only time in my life where I can fully enjoy :(
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Missileness
Missile course. Unnecessary, annoying, disgusting, but yet occasionally interesting.
Sure, hardly anyone on the street will even have the chance to get near a live missile, but it's not something I want.
I want to learn something else; a type of study that allows me to protect peoples' lives and safeguard them while they don't even know that they're protected. That, that will be interesting. Not this. This is manual labour that I'm not even supposed to go through.
Ah well, as I type this, I have to go prepare to book in again all the way at Joo Koon. Damn it, I can't wait for ORD to come.
Sure, hardly anyone on the street will even have the chance to get near a live missile, but it's not something I want.
I want to learn something else; a type of study that allows me to protect peoples' lives and safeguard them while they don't even know that they're protected. That, that will be interesting. Not this. This is manual labour that I'm not even supposed to go through.
Ah well, as I type this, I have to go prepare to book in again all the way at Joo Koon. Damn it, I can't wait for ORD to come.
Sunday, 13 March 2011
It's high time since I updated this blog.
From February till this point of time, I've been a stay out personnel in driving course.
What does that mean? It means I enjoy the perks of eating out in restaurants and fast food as well as sleeping in my own bed, but I get yelled at like an abused kid during driving lessons.
All in all, I suffered emotionally and mentally, I've been insulted every single day, but the end result was that I'm a stronger person who can endure insults better, and I've got a Class 3M license :D
Also, I've registered my Basic Theory Test for Class 3 on the 28th of May so... That'll be my first step to getting a license.
Well now, my stay out period has ended, and it's time to go back into camp. What awaits me there? What horrors will I experience next? That question I'll only get an answer tomorrow.
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