Maybe I should try a monthly post now! Just like a monthly dumping of thoughts, feelings and random stuff into here.
Or maybe not :P
it's nearing ORD. I want to find a job now but it'll be too early. I want to get ahead of the pack, ensure my path is planned and set out without relying much on others.
Reliance! That's something I hate! I believe if i have to rely on anyone other than family (and even then i still hate the feeling), it means i haven't planned enough yet. Which means its a failure on my own part which i need to learn and recover.
I intend to get a job in a voluntary organization, or maybe MCYS, although the travelling will be insane. Still, i must do what i can to expose myself as harshly as possible to understand the toughness of life, before i can even proceed down this path of counselling and psychology. I have to feel the pain, go through it, in order to help people with true compassion and feeling.
It's like being a doctor in a sense. Do I treat the patient? Or do I care for the patient? Two different words, two vast differences. I intend to care for patients. Not "treat" them.
I know i am strong enough mentally and physically for this. I know i can. But the army has made me too pampered and sheltered. And i need to get out of it ASAP.
One thing I've noted. Why was my heart rejecting my uncle's advice? At that point of time, i felt embarassed; ashamed that i had chosen counselling as my choice of study. Why didn't i have the faith to stand up and fully explain why i made such a decision? I can only proceed into the future to look back into my past to understand i guess.
For now, I'll stick to a degree in psychology, or sociology/psychology. Then get a diploma in counselling. I believe I'm the right person to go this way, irregardless of my mother's doubt that "your temperament just isn't suited for this kind of job".
We'll see :P
